Remembering Elliana: Soaking Papa at Work

The final part of the day of work at Transpro was washing and putting away the van. Candace arrived while I was washing the van one sunny day, so I had Elliana, who was three years old, rinse the van while I finished washing it. 

Another driver walked up and decided to have some fun with the situation. He told Elliana that he would give her a dollar if she sprayed me with the hose. She looked at me a bit bewildered. She loves her papa, but a dollar is a dollar.

Topping Her Dad at Something

I was greeted at the door by my youngest granddaughter.

"Hi Papa. Merry Christmas and welcome," she said. 

It was not her normal greeting. She was excited because Christmas Eve is when her father's family gathers at her home to exchange Christmas gifts. I was there for the food and the cookies, and to see the grandkids before they got started.

The cousins had not yet arrived. Her mom and dad were getting things ready for the evening. She was all mine to talk to and play with for a while.

Candace, Me, and Glass Spider Tour

Each child is unique. That, certainly, is not breaking news for anybody who has known two or more children.

Candace’s uniqueness showed up in several ways. She was beautiful beyond belief, and I don’t say that just because she is beautiful to me. People would often comment how she reminded them of the Gerber baby or Shirley Temple. Her mother entered her picture in a beautiful baby contest at the local mall, and she won. She was simply stunning!

She also learned to speak at a very young age. Adults were able to have conversations with her at two years old beyond the typical two year old conversations. She could speak in coherent, complete sentences at that age. I remember the time she brought me the phone. The person on the other end told me how darling my child was and asked her age. When I told him she was two, he said he meant the one who answered the phone. I told him she is my only child, and that she is two. His comment was "I cannot believe I just had an intelligent conversation with a two year old!"

I Met a Man Named John (Newsletter published January 1999)

I have been going through boxes and stored items so that I can get rid of things that I've saved over the years that I will never need. One of the benefits of doing this is that I am also finding things that I've saved because I wanted to keep them, like old Newsletter publications in which I wrote articles about things other than industry topics and our company's services. 

Several of the articles had to do with my life as a single, custodial father of two daughters. This particular article got more positive comments when I wrote it than any other article I wrote for the Newsletter. With that introduction, here is "I Met a Man Named John," which is most likely slightly edited because I don't have to make it fit and also because I'm anal like that. 

(The thing that seems most funny in rewriting this article is that I am now about the age of the "elderly, well-dressed Black man." As I look back on things, I seem to have learned a lesson from my encounter with the man who had the riches that money cannot buy.)

From Hell to Purgatory: A Poem for the Children

I wrote this poem on November 17, 2012. 

That was when the bickering between the parties was over whether the children of people fleeing the danger in their homelands to come to the USA to find refuge get to stay, or if they have to go back to places they've never been to.

It seemed like a simple thing for me to resolve. Of course, children are not responsible for the crimes their parents commit, but something else was going on in society. People were actually arguing over whether it was sound immigration policy to let the children stay and become American citizens or to boot them out and not care about them. 

It did not seem to matter to many of these people that these innocent children have grown up to be some of America's finest citizens. They didn't even care that if those rules applied when their ancestors were leaving their native homelands that they, too, would be subjects of the discussion. 

After a while, I went off and wrote this poem, wishing we could just kick out a racist citizen every time one of the children needs citizenship, and we just have no room here to say, you are my child. Wherever I am, you have shelter and food while your parents build a better life for you. 

* * *

Racism is Killing Us. Stop it now!! - Do You See It?

I wrote this poem on November 4, 2007. 

I have made it more aesthetically pleasing to myself, and it is ready for its re-release.

This is an important lesson for everyone, but especially for young people. 

As Mrs. Tannar, aka SyMone Nelson, said, "I think it's a good sign that our young thinkers are beginning to realize the power of their unified votes! You go guys!"

A New Day Dawns

It is about ten minutes to two in the morning. I have had a bit over five hours of continuous sleep and feel rested now. 

I think the thing I like best about retirement is that I can sleep when I am tired. I am not a person who is devoted to routines. I think of my daily chores and desires as processes. I believe major projects should be broken down into minor tasks. If you accomplish a task or two toward completing the project, you've gotten closer to your objective without burning yourself out.

This is especially important for people who display a lot of empathy. Empaths are easy to take advantage of, and, because of their caring second nature, they have difficulty expressing their own feelings, if it is at the expense of hurting someone else's feelings.

THE PUNCH!

Erin would never back down from a fight, which meant that she was suspended for fighting periodically throughout her school years. I would have to go to the school to get her, and I was able to talk the principal out of suspension a time or two because she was defending herself.

For a time in middle school, I suspected that she was getting suspended on purpose to get a few days off. I warned her that I would take swift action if I felt she was doing that. 

Starting a Tradition of Self Care

Though I love the spirit of Dickens, I say bah, humbug to most holidays. It isn't because of an admiration for Scrooge that I utter the words he is famous for saying. In fact, I relate to Bob Cratchit more than I relate to Scrooge. Cratchit wasn't happy to be at home with his family because it was Christmas. He was always happy to be at home with his family even though his family had its problems. The family's biggest problem was a child with an incurable disease that would shorten his life.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. It was the first one that I remember that I did what I wanted to do, which was to stay home, do some daily living, and watch football. I talked to both of my daughters on the phone to wish them happiness for the day, but I didn't go to the family function they both try to attend. Instead, I did what I wanted to do. It is part of what I must do to deal with my own healing, and it will be my new tradition for holidays.

Charlie Cakes (2013-2022)

I didn't know Charlie for the first couple years of his life. He was found in Hawaii by my daughter who was stationed there. She found him along with three of his siblings after their feral mom had been hit by a car. She got three of the four to the point they could eat on their own. She gave away one of the survivors.

She originally planned on also giving Charlie away and keeping only Zeppelin. However, he endeared himself so much to her that she changed plans, and I ended up with my two oldest grandkittens.

If Schools Taught Life Skills in 1980

Many people have suggested that schools should teach children life skills rather than wild math and humanities concepts they will rarely use in life. I wonder how differently my life might have been had the schools emphasized teaching us how to deal with the problems our parents were facing, rather than teaching us how to convert problems stated in sentence form into mathematical equations.

I was personally cast into adulthood in the mid-'70s. I have never had an occasion to try to figure out how far apart two trains traveling in opposite directions would be after a certain amount of time. Instead, I had to deal with the same adult matters that my parents had been dealing with all along.

My Daughter's Wife

As wrong as my daughter got it the first time, she got it that right the second time!

Her wife doesn't need to be the center of attention, and she doesn't need to use some really tough experiences in her life to explain abnormal behavior. Rather, she uses her experiences to imagine how others must feel in their circumstances. She has a healthy ego, but she also has a lot of empathy. She has a keen awareness about herself. She listens to learn rather than to know what memorized response is appropriate.

Cashing in a Magic Dime

My granddaughter has more toys than she needs. She also has more clothes than she needs. That always poses a problem for me when it comes to gifts for birthdays. I don't want to add to the excess. Giving only money may be fine in time, but this is my granddaughter who still uses her imagination in ways that make me smile!

Gemma recently turned seven years old. She loves playing with me. We make up all kinds of games to play. However, she had to have something tangible as a gift, but not something that would add to her excesses.

The Census Taker

Though I understand the reasons that the census must be taken as it pertains to representation in Congress, some of the questions that are asked seem to me to be totally irrelevant to knowing how many people live where I live. That is likely why I had put off filling out the census form in 2000 and failing to fill it out and send it back drew a knock on the door from a census taker.

Boz Scaggs at Emerald Queen Casino

The date the sign showed Boz Scaggs was performing on March 12th slips my mind, but it was resolved a moment later that I would be getting tickets for his show! I went to get the tickets the next pay day.

I decided to buy a pair of tickets for Hutch to give to him for his birthday, and two extra tickets so Candace and Erin could also go with Linda and me to see this great musician.

Christmas in February: Michael Che Comedy Show

I could tell there was more than just a card in the envelope when it was handed to me for my Christmas present in 2015. Sure enough, inside the card were six tickets for the February 25th show at the Columbia City Theater featuring Michael Che.

Tidal Wave of Love

The water had seeped the night before. The winds were blowing steadily as predicted. The pressure was mounting with each push. The earth began shaking uncontrollably with greater and greater force. Then from within there was emergence, and it was finally over.

All the preparation and anticipation had come to fruition. Our baby had arrived!

Build-A-Bear With the Grandkids

Though it was truly Gemma’s second Christmas, 2013 was really the first one she would start grasping the concept. She was barely a month old the previous year. Linda and I got both Elliana and Gemma something they could unwrap and gift certificates to Build-A-Bear.

It was time to cash those in a week or two later. Candace, of course, wanted to be there to share her baby’s first experience making her own stuffed animal.

THE SHOT!

Erin’s athleticism was apparent at a very young age. She was walking by the time she was nine months old. She rode a bicycle for the first time when she was three, on the same day her sister, who is three-and-a-half years older, rode a bicycle for the first time.

That Endearing Moment with Noofie Bugg

Erin’s athleticism was apparent as a young child. She was walking at nine months, and rode a two-wheeler for the first time when she was three, on the same day her sister, who is three-and-a-half years older, rode a two-wheeler for the first time!