Saving CUPS Part 2: Explaining Contra Accounts to CPA's

One of the most difficult aspects of consulting is that people often don't want advice; they want advocacy. Certainly, consultants can never ethically accept jobs that require advocacy over sound operation. That is the function of marketing departments.

The state had imposed an accounting principle known as "lower of cost or market" (LOCOM) because of the nature of the problem the credit unions had created. Though Bert would have preferred me to figure out a way that LOCOM accounting was unreasonable, he accepted the fact that there was nothing we could do about it. 

Saving CUPS Part 1: Trapping the Moles

In a matter of two months, I left Telco Credit Union to open up a consulting business, and then closed the consulting business because Credit Union of Puget Sound (CUPS) was using me full time. I was settled into my new position as Administrative Assistant to Bert Noel when he called me into his office. 

He put a memo from the state examiners in front of me and asked me if I had ever heard of a minor infraction cited in detail. It was some really minor error in the way the credit union accounted for something. I had not ever seen such a write up before, but I also had to admit that I wasn't an accountant. I asked him what Chet or Kenny had said about it. He hadn't talked to them. He had just received the memo from the state examiner who was posted in the accounting department since the credit union had been put on the watch list for an investment and accounting problem.

Pondering Death and Its Options

Intellectually, I know that I will eventually die. However, there is this little part of me that wonders if I might be that special someone who somehow defies death. If you will excuse the source if it bothers you, Woody Allen said it best: "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying." It is natural to feel that way because of our basic instinct for survival, but it is also intellectually dishonest to hold onto the thought for anything other than fantasy.

While we hold onto those thoughts in one part of our minds, another part of us wants to be adventurous and to live life to the fullest. James Dean's self-fulfilling quote, "Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse," takes the idea to the opposite end of the spectrum of life and death from immortality. While most of us don't go anywhere near that far in our pursuit of adventure, we tend to tie the will to live to having a life worth living.

I Met a Man Named John (Newsletter published January 1999)

I have been going through boxes and stored items so that I can get rid of things that I've saved over the years that I will never need. One of the benefits of doing this is that I am also finding things that I've saved because I wanted to keep them, like old Newsletter publications in which I wrote articles about things other than industry topics and our company's services. 

Several of the articles had to do with my life as a single, custodial father of two daughters. This particular article got more positive comments when I wrote it than any other article I wrote for the Newsletter. With that introduction, here is "I Met a Man Named John," which is most likely slightly edited because I don't have to make it fit and also because I'm anal like that. 

(The thing that seems most funny in rewriting this article is that I am now about the age of the "elderly, well-dressed Black man." As I look back on things, I seem to have learned a lesson from my encounter with the man who had the riches that money cannot buy.)

Fuel Filter Fun

Kathy and Richard lived in many different places while Richard was in the military. Of course, that meant their children also moved around a lot.

Richard got stationed in North Carolina the year Tony turned eighteen. He decided to stay here in Washington rather than relocate back east with his family. Kathy and Richard gave him their 1987 Chevy Celebrity to help him with his independence, and he took a job in the family business to earn his own way.

Three Songs About Richard Nixon

Many people regard Nixon as nothing but evil. I don't go along with that belief. I think he was only eighty-five to ninety percent evil. However, when it comes to music, I cannot think of any popular song that praised him. The best I can come up with are the rather neutral comments in Lynard Skynard's song Sweet Home Alabama: "Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you?" Those don't really address Nixon so much as the Nixon era.

My Apology to Walmart

"When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?" - John Maynard Keynes 

For decades, Walmart has stood as the symbol of capitalism gone awry. For some time, it earned the symbolic relationship by manipulating markets and cutting out competition for market share.

However, the facts have changed. It is time for me to not only change my mind, but to offer Walmart my sincere apology for not recognizing how far the company has come in producing a marketplace that competes with Amazon, and is greener and less greedy than what Bezos has set up, exploiting everyone from consumers to partners to employees.

Remembering Mom: Her Trips to the Cemetery

There was no pain that Mom carried in her heart greater than the pain of losing David, her youngest child. He was born in early December 1964 and died the next March at three-and-a-half months old. 

I was seven when David died. Mom and Dad let us view his body lying in state, which is the most vivid image of David that I retain, but we weren't allowed to go to his funeral. He spent so little time at home that we never got to know or play with him. 

More vivid than the image of David in his coffin are the images of the many times Mom walked across the uneven ground of Lullaby Land to put flowers on his grave. Her regular trips to the cemetery began on her birthday in 1965. Her birthday, and David's birthday and date of death, became ritualistic for her and Dad to visit David's grave. In 1993, she added Dad's dates of birth and death, and we children became her support system accompanying her to our brother's grave and our father's crypt. 

Remembering Dad: Was it a Prank?

I don’t remember the date, but the year was 1980. I know that because it was election season, and Governor Ray was running for re-election, which made this the perfect time for someone to pull this prank.

We were in his office discussing some business when the phone rang. He answered it.

"I wouldn’t pay fifty dollars to spend the whole night with her," he said just before he slammed the phone down!

Is Not Caring Anymore a Mental Health Issue?

We can all try to hide from it, but there are things we used to care about that we no longer care about. Each person is unique in how this applies personally to them. Some people quit caring if other people judge them, while other people might quit caring about whether they are fully made-up before going into public. We might even think that not caring about those things is mentally healthy.

The problem with drawing a conclusion with that little information is that we are really projecting an answer to what we imagine those general statements mean to us. We imagine that not caring if other people judge us means we are retaining control of our lives. We imagine that not caring if we are fully made-up for the day before going in public is part of maturing. To some degree, perhaps even in most cases, those would likely be correct conclusions.

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part three

If there is one thing that guys understand about love, it is that we must always tell women that we will do the impossible in order to get them to love us back. Of course, that isn't true, but it is true that guys often make impossible claims for the purpose of proving their love.

That is the case with this part. Each of these songs is an appeal from a guy who is in love. Two are songs about the love the singer has having no limits, and the third is about an undisclosed limitation. 

The standards for these songs are the same as in the first two parts. The song must have been popular enough to get radio air time, the song cannot have been a parody or intended to be funny, and, upon examination, the lyrics have to convey a seriously stupid thought or no thought at all. 

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part two

Music can be different things to different people. Some people choose relaxing music, while others might opt for invigorating sounds. Whatever the reasons are that we choose the music we listen to, it is often for the melodies and not for the words. Some of the songs that we like have rather odd lyrics that may flow well, but are seriously stupid if we examine them.

To be considered for this series, a song has to be serious. It must have been somewhat popular. Finally, the lyrics have to be seriously stupid when examined as a storyline, or, more commonly, for lack of a storyline. For example, Louie, Louie would not qualify despite being popular and seriously stupid, because it was not intended to be serious. 

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part one

Though music is generally entertainment, it is also a means through which an artist can convey messages of inspiration, philosophy, or altruism. Certainly, there are songs which, by design, are just for fun. For example, Alan Sherman's Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah was intended to be funny. 

Therefore, it does not qualify for this series of articles, which is to identify stupid songs that are intended to be serious. The song must also have achieved some level of radio play, so the song my friend Hutch wrote when he was twelve titled, I have an Old Automobile also does not qualify.

Since these songs were oft played, you may find, as I do, that you like some of them, if not most of them. My selection has nothing to do with these songs being terrible, but, rather, with the lyrics being seriously stupid and serious.

Her Name is Imogene: My 1977 MG Midget

I haven't had a toy since I traded my '05 Suzuki Boulevard C-90 for an enclosed utility trailer that served me well. I sold it when I no longer needed it, and I searched the northwest to see what deal might be out there for me. I found about fifty vehicles that caught my eye for one reason or another. I kept an eye on these vehicles ranging from motor scooters to motor homes. There were many really good deals, and several of the vehicles that perked my interest most were either marked sold or the ad was deleted by the seller.

Imogene emerged from that search as the car that I wanted. She was in Oregon, and I needed to make certain that I wouldn't be wasting my time. I offered $100 on top of full asking price with the condition that I have two weeks to complete the deal in person and in cash. The seller agreed to the deal, and I started putting together the plan to bring her north. That didn't take long. Anthony agreed to drive his car down and follow me back in his car.

My First Ticket Goes to Todd!

I developed my own skill at generating traffic tickets after I got my driver's license. However, the first ticket I got for driving went to my friend, Todd Grimm.

Todd had a sweet, old 1964 Ford Fairlane that he restored to better than original condition. It had a really cool 8-track player that looked like it would eventually be something stock in Star Trek days! 

Todd went with me to a family barbecue at Bonney Lake when I was fourteen or fifteen years old. He took the car to a remote road and let me drive her!