Three Songs About Richard Nixon

Many people regard Nixon as nothing but evil. I don't go along with that belief. I think he was only eighty-five to ninety percent evil. However, when it comes to music, I cannot think of any popular song that praised him. The best I can come up with are the rather neutral comments in Lynard Skynard's song Sweet Home Alabama: "Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you?" Those don't really address Nixon so much as the Nixon era.

My Apology to Walmart

"When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?" - John Maynard Keynes 

For decades, Walmart has stood as the symbol of capitalism gone awry. For some time, it earned the symbolic relationship by manipulating markets and cutting out competition for market share.

However, the facts have changed. It is time for me to not only change my mind, but to offer Walmart my sincere apology for not recognizing how far the company has come in producing a marketplace that competes with Amazon, and is greener and less greedy than what Bezos has set up, exploiting everyone from consumers to partners to employees.

Remembering Mom: Her Trips to the Cemetery

There was no pain that Mom carried in her heart greater than the pain of losing David, her youngest child. He was born in early December 1964 and died the next March at three-and-a-half months old. 

I was seven when David died. Mom and Dad let us view his body lying in state, which is the most vivid image of David that I retain, but we weren't allowed to go to his funeral. He spent so little time at home that we never got to know or play with him. 

More vivid than the image of David in his coffin are the images of the many times Mom walked across the uneven ground of Lullaby Land to put flowers on his grave. Her regular trips to the cemetery began on her birthday in 1965. Her birthday, and David's birthday and date of death, became ritualistic for her and Dad to visit David's grave. In 1993, she added Dad's dates of birth and death, and we children became her support system accompanying her to our brother's grave and our father's crypt. 

Remembering Dad: Was it a Prank?

I don’t remember the date, but the year was 1980. I know that because it was election season, and Governor Ray was running for re-election, which made this the perfect time for someone to pull this prank.

We were in his office discussing some business when the phone rang. He answered it.

"I wouldn’t pay fifty dollars to spend the whole night with her," he said just before he slammed the phone down!

Is Not Caring Anymore a Mental Health Issue?

We can all try to hide from it, but there are things we used to care about that we no longer care about. Each person is unique in how this applies personally to them. Some people quit caring if other people judge them, while other people might quit caring about whether they are fully made-up before going into public. We might even think that not caring about those things is mentally healthy.

The problem with drawing a conclusion with that little information is that we are really projecting an answer to what we imagine those general statements mean to us. We imagine that not caring if other people judge us means we are retaining control of our lives. We imagine that not caring if we are fully made-up for the day before going in public is part of maturing. To some degree, perhaps even in most cases, those would likely be correct conclusions.

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part three

If there is one thing that guys understand about love, it is that we must always tell women that we will do the impossible in order to get them to love us back. Of course, that isn't true, but it is true that guys often make impossible claims for the purpose of proving their love.

That is the case with this part. Each of these songs is an appeal from a guy who is in love. Two are songs about the love the singer has having no limits, and the third is about an undisclosed limitation. 

The standards for these songs are the same as in the first two parts. The song must have been popular enough to get radio air time, the song cannot have been a parody or intended to be funny, and, upon examination, the lyrics have to convey a seriously stupid thought or no thought at all. 

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part two

Music can be different things to different people. Some people choose relaxing music, while others might opt for invigorating sounds. Whatever the reasons are that we choose the music we listen to, it is often for the melodies and not for the words. Some of the songs that we like have rather odd lyrics that may flow well, but are seriously stupid if we examine them.

To be considered for this series, a song has to be serious. It must have been somewhat popular. Finally, the lyrics have to be seriously stupid when examined as a storyline, or, more commonly, for lack of a storyline. For example, Louie, Louie would not qualify despite being popular and seriously stupid, because it was not intended to be serious. 

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part one

Though music is generally entertainment, it is also a means through which an artist can convey messages of inspiration, philosophy, or altruism. Certainly, there are songs which, by design, are just for fun. For example, Alan Sherman's Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah was intended to be funny. 

Therefore, it does not qualify for this series of articles, which is to identify stupid songs that are intended to be serious. The song must also have achieved some level of radio play, so the song my friend Hutch wrote when he was twelve titled, I have an Old Automobile also does not qualify.

Since these songs were oft played, you may find, as I do, that you like some of them, if not most of them. My selection has nothing to do with these songs being terrible, but, rather, with the lyrics being seriously stupid and serious.

Her Name is Imogene: My 1977 MG Midget

I haven't had a toy since I traded my '05 Suzuki Boulevard C-90 for an enclosed utility trailer that served me well. I sold it when I no longer needed it, and I searched the northwest to see what deal might be out there for me. I found about fifty vehicles that caught my eye for one reason or another. I kept an eye on these vehicles ranging from motor scooters to motor homes. There were many really good deals, and several of the vehicles that perked my interest most were either marked sold or the ad was deleted by the seller.

Imogene emerged from that search as the car that I wanted. She was in Oregon, and I needed to make certain that I wouldn't be wasting my time. I offered $100 on top of full asking price with the condition that I have two weeks to complete the deal in person and in cash. The seller agreed to the deal, and I started putting together the plan to bring her north. That didn't take long. Anthony agreed to drive his car down and follow me back in his car.

My First Ticket Goes to Todd!

I developed my own skill at generating traffic tickets after I got my driver's license. However, the first ticket I got for driving went to my friend, Todd Grimm.

Todd had a sweet, old 1964 Ford Fairlane that he restored to better than original condition. It had a really cool 8-track player that looked like it would eventually be something stock in Star Trek days! 

Todd went with me to a family barbecue at Bonney Lake when I was fourteen or fifteen years old. He took the car to a remote road and let me drive her! 

Pleasure (Video Reading Included)

Originally written November 8, 2007.

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With love from her deep brown eyes more piercing than Cupid’s arrows, she comfortably positions herself in my lap for the third time today. No wiggling and jiggling, she desires beast again.

Three Songs About Addictions

Many musicians and other artists have lost wars to addictions. So have many everyday people. Addiction to substances are not new. The consequences can be deadly, and, unfortunately for many families, addictions are deadly every day.

There are many songs about addiction to choose from. Two of the three I chose are from the perspectives of the user. One is from the perspective of an observer. Each song deals with a different aspect of addiction. 

One is a bit ironic. Let's start with that song.

Struck from the Jury

I had always felt a bit cheated. Everyone in my family except me had been called on for jury duty at one time or another, and some had been called on several times. They would complain about the call to duty, while I longed for the chance to be called upon.

Finally, the day came that a summons for jury duty arrived! For twenty-eight days I would be in a pool of potential jurors for the Superior Court of the State of Washington!

My Mom's Computer

I was talking to this other guy who has a computer. I told him about some eerie things going on with my mom’s computer. He told me a story about 2001. A computer named HAL was discovered. HAL would do evil things to keep from being shut off because computers die when they are shut off. He told me it was really aliens.

I thought he was crazy because this was even worse than that. Mom’s computer is not evil; it is very, very evil. I told him this had to be the work of the devil himself.

Run Tony! Run!

I love all my nieces and nephews, but I had the closest relationship with my nephew Tony. We would play basketball, go to baseball games, and hang out just to hang out.

Laura got a paper route to help subsidize her income after we split up. I would often deliver it on the nights that our children stayed with her. This was in the early 1990s, and motion sensor lights were uncommon. The first one I ever saw, in fact, was on a mobile home where the owner had a subscription to the paper on the route Laura delivered.