Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part three

If there is one thing that guys understand about love, it is that we must always tell women that we will do the impossible in order to get them to love us back. Of course, that isn't true, but it is true that guys often make impossible claims for the purpose of proving their love.

That is the case with this part. Each of these songs is an appeal from a guy who is in love. Two are songs about the love the singer has having no limits, and the third is about an undisclosed limitation. 

The standards for these songs are the same as in the first two parts. The song must have been popular enough to get radio air time, the song cannot have been a parody or intended to be funny, and, upon examination, the lyrics have to convey a seriously stupid thought or no thought at all. 

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part two

Music can be different things to different people. Some people choose relaxing music, while others might opt for invigorating sounds. Whatever the reasons are that we choose the music we listen to, it is often for the melodies and not for the words. Some of the songs that we like have rather odd lyrics that may flow well, but are seriously stupid if we examine them.

To be considered for this series, a song has to be serious. It must have been somewhat popular. Finally, the lyrics have to be seriously stupid when examined as a storyline, or, more commonly, for lack of a storyline. For example, Louie, Louie would not qualify despite being popular and seriously stupid, because it was not intended to be serious. 

Three Seriously Stupid Serious Songs, part one

Though music is generally entertainment, it is also a means through which an artist can convey messages of inspiration, philosophy, or altruism. Certainly, there are songs which, by design, are just for fun. For example, Alan Sherman's Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah was intended to be funny. 

Therefore, it does not qualify for this series of articles, which is to identify stupid songs that are intended to be serious. The song must also have achieved some level of radio play, so the song my friend Hutch wrote when he was twelve titled, I have an Old Automobile also does not qualify.

Since these songs were oft played, you may find, as I do, that you like some of them, if not most of them. My selection has nothing to do with these songs being terrible, but, rather, with the lyrics being seriously stupid and serious.

Her Name is Imogene: My 1977 MG Midget

I haven't had a toy since I traded my '05 Suzuki Boulevard C-90 for an enclosed utility trailer that served me well. I sold it when I no longer needed it, and I searched the northwest to see what deal might be out there for me. I found about fifty vehicles that caught my eye for one reason or another. I kept an eye on these vehicles ranging from motor scooters to motor homes. There were many really good deals, and several of the vehicles that perked my interest most were either marked sold or the ad was deleted by the seller.

Imogene emerged from that search as the car that I wanted. She was in Oregon, and I needed to make certain that I wouldn't be wasting my time. I offered $100 on top of full asking price with the condition that I have two weeks to complete the deal in person and in cash. The seller agreed to the deal, and I started putting together the plan to bring her north. That didn't take long. Anthony agreed to drive his car down and follow me back in his car.

My First Ticket Goes to Todd!

I developed my own skill at generating traffic tickets after I got my driver's license. However, the first ticket I got for driving went to my friend, Todd Grimm.

Todd had a sweet, old 1964 Ford Fairlane that he restored to better than original condition. It had a really cool 8-track player that looked like it would eventually be something stock in Star Trek days! 

Todd went with me to a family barbecue at Bonney Lake when I was fourteen or fifteen years old. He took the car to a remote road and let me drive her! 

Pleasure (Video Reading Included)

Originally written November 8, 2007.

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With love from her deep brown eyes more piercing than Cupid’s arrows, she comfortably positions herself in my lap for the third time today. No wiggling and jiggling, she desires beast again.

Three Songs About Addictions

Many musicians and other artists have lost wars to addictions. So have many everyday people. Addiction to substances are not new. The consequences can be deadly, and, unfortunately for many families, addictions are deadly every day.

There are many songs about addiction to choose from. Two of the three I chose are from the perspectives of the user. One is from the perspective of an observer. Each song deals with a different aspect of addiction. 

One is a bit ironic. Let's start with that song.

Struck from the Jury

I had always felt a bit cheated. Everyone in my family except me had been called on for jury duty at one time or another, and some had been called on several times. They would complain about the call to duty, while I longed for the chance to be called upon.

Finally, the day came that a summons for jury duty arrived! For twenty-eight days I would be in a pool of potential jurors for the Superior Court of the State of Washington!

My Mom's Computer

I was talking to this other guy who has a computer. I told him about some eerie things going on with my mom’s computer. He told me a story about 2001. A computer named HAL was discovered. HAL would do evil things to keep from being shut off because computers die when they are shut off. He told me it was really aliens.

I thought he was crazy because this was even worse than that. Mom’s computer is not evil; it is very, very evil. I told him this had to be the work of the devil himself.

Run Tony! Run!

I love all my nieces and nephews, but I had the closest relationship with my nephew Tony. We would play basketball, go to baseball games, and hang out just to hang out.

Laura got a paper route to help subsidize her income after we split up. I would often deliver it on the nights that our children stayed with her. This was in the early 1990s, and motion sensor lights were uncommon. The first one I ever saw, in fact, was on a mobile home where the owner had a subscription to the paper on the route Laura delivered.

Resolution Through Self Reflection

For many, many years, I lived with the belief that if everybody else in the world would only conform to my standards, then that elusive peace and happiness I sought would come to fruition. My unresolved issues had accumulated to the toppling point, exponentially intensifying with increased frequency and duration my feelings of both desolation and despair. My set of friends was nearly empty, and I was questioning whether or not I even liked myself.

One day, out of nowhere, a package arrived addressed to me. In it was a box, and a simple, unsigned note saying only "I hope this helps you." Inside the box was an assortment of books, tapes, and videos. The topics varied, but the common theme was ‘taking responsibility for my own feelings and actions.’

Remembering Dad: The Day May Got Him

Dad loved his family and his friends. He would go out of his way to help them on a moment’s notice. He also loved practical jokes and Sears, and May took advantage of all that this day.

May showed up at the office unexpectedly one day. She was always welcome, but this day she seemed to have a reason. She appeared agitated, so Dad invited her into his office to vent a bit.

"I’m so upset with Sears," she told him.

He assured her that Sears always makes good on any customer complaint, and always honors its warranties.

From Hell to Purgatory: A Poem for the Children

I wrote this poem on November 17, 2012. 

That was when the bickering between the parties was over whether the children of people fleeing the danger in their homelands to come to the USA to find refuge get to stay, or if they have to go back to places they've never been to.

It seemed like a simple thing for me to resolve. Of course, children are not responsible for the crimes their parents commit, but something else was going on in society. People were actually arguing over whether it was sound immigration policy to let the children stay and become American citizens or to boot them out and not care about them. 

It did not seem to matter to many of these people that these innocent children have grown up to be some of America's finest citizens. They didn't even care that if those rules applied when their ancestors were leaving their native homelands that they, too, would be subjects of the discussion. 

After a while, I went off and wrote this poem, wishing we could just kick out a racist citizen every time one of the children needs citizenship, and we just have no room here to say, you are my child. Wherever I am, you have shelter and food while your parents build a better life for you. 

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Welcome to My Nightmare

This is a re-release of a post that I wrote on February 4, 2009. People ask me how I do what I do. I study. Other than that, I have no idea. 

I believe that other people have that capability, but, alas, I wonder why people don't exercise their minds, perhaps similar to the puzzlement Bertrand Russell pondered when he asked the rhetorical question, "Why repeat the old errors, if there are so many new errors to commit?" 

People who tell me that I study too much, and who also are in awe of what I can do, have a reconciliation problem. Those are diametrically opposed statements. 

If you don't know what that means, look it up. After all, that is what I would do.

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Racism is Killing Us. Stop it now!! - Do You See It?

I wrote this poem on November 4, 2007. 

I have made it more aesthetically pleasing to myself, and it is ready for its re-release.

This is an important lesson for everyone, but especially for young people. 

As Mrs. Tannar, aka SyMone Nelson, said, "I think it's a good sign that our young thinkers are beginning to realize the power of their unified votes! You go guys!"