Bryan had been so much more than fair when he allowed me to take care of her despite there really being no room for her at home.
The original thought was that it would be for a short amount of time while her father got an apartment that he was told would be available soon. However, when he called them to set up a time to sign a lease, he was told that someone else got that apartment before he could get there to sign the papers. Javier tried to find another apartment, but, after paying several application fees and being rejected, he got into another boarding room at a place that was DOC approved. His intention was to move forward with the search for an apartment for the two of them when he was not restricted to his home without a week's notice to get approval from the person he reports to.
Bryan agreed to let her stay with me longer so that she could go to school. Education is important to Bryan, and I suspect he knew that I had no place to take her. However, the school expelled her when they found her unresponsive in a bathroom stall. She was given Narcan and taken to the hospital. At that point, I didn't even want her to come back here. However, the only way she could be forcibly committed would be if she were attempting to commit suicide, and then they would only be able to hold her for three days. The social worker told us that she already told them that it was an accidental overdose. She didn't qualify for involuntary commitment, and she needed inpatient drug rehab and not a short-term suicide watch.
Bryan told me that she needed care. We were told it would take between two weeks and two months. He agreed to only allow her to stay while we sought care for her, and if she accepted that she needed help. He made sure that I understood that she could not return to his house after getting treatment. I could work with that.
My rules were simple: there were to be no more problems, and her behavior needed to change so that her problems can be resolved. Candace talked to the school and found out what the conditions were for her return. She set up meetings for last Monday with both the school and the drug counselor at the mental health center that she goes to. Those were the first steps that needed to be taken. Elliana was on board with everything and was being cooperative. She was given the privilege of having a friend over the Thursday before that because of her cooperation and her promise that there would be no problems. Her friend just wanted to come over to see Elliana due to her concern about her and would not stay long.
That was a bad decision on my part. About an hour after her friend got here, she told us that Elliana was having a seizure or something. She said she found her that way when she got back from going to the bathroom. Elliana was lying on the bed both unresponsive and not breathing. Bryan often says that he was born at night, but it wasn't last night. Her friend went to the bathroom before they went into the room Elliana had cleaned up to supposedly demonstrate good decision-making. Her friend was giving Bryan conflicting answers about how they knew each other, for how long they knew each other, and where they met.
Bryan holds a master's degree and works with the homeless, many of whom are addicts. He took over the 911 call from Elliana's friend as he confronted her with more questions that she was answering differently than a related question he had asked previously. To successive questions, she told him that she lived in Tacoma, Lakewood, ten minutes away, and Federal Way. When he pointed out all the different answers and asked where she was going, she said Federal Way. When he asked how she got there, she told him that she took an Uber. There is no way to know the truth because she is a compulsive liar.
I suspected that it was an overdose, but Bryan was certain about it. He told me that her friend was not the concerned classmate they represented her to be, that she brought over fentanyl, and that we were dealing with an overdose. Bryan found some Narcan that his job gives to him because some of the people he deals with are opioid addicts. She began responding almost immediately and was cognizant and alert within a few minutes. Bryan was correct in his assessment because part of his job includes him doing assessments.
Elliana would only allow the first responders to check her blood sugar. Obviously, that wasn't the problem. She didn't have the $40 her father gave her the day before so that she could go to the movies. Her explanation for a straw we found that had been smoked through was that it must have fallen out from a box and that it was there from when she did smoke some.
I got Elliana and her friend into the car to get her friend out of there. I confirmed that she wanted to go to her father's home in Federal Way. Her GPS was squawking that I was going the wrong way as we headed out. She wondered why I wasn't following the directions. I told her that her GPS wasn't giving us the shortest route to Federal Way. She told me that she was going to her cousin's place in Puyallup instead. I took her to some apartments in Puyallup while along the way I explained to her loudly that when I ask a question, I expect a correct answer.
On the way back, I explained to Elliana equally loudly that she had caused such a problem that the only question was whether Bryan was going to kick her out, or if he was going to kick both of us out. Bryan was both clear and compassionate when we got back. He told her that her time there was over. He estimated that she could get into inpatient care within a week but would give her a week-and-a-day to be out. He told her that there would be no allowance like that if this had happened at his work. She would be on the streets immediately.
He was correct in his assessment of me. Part of what he does for a living is to identify people who enable addicts through assessments. He holds a master's degree. He knows what he is talking about.
I wrote yesterday about my time with Elliana being up. She had no plans. Her grandmother agreed to take her in, but that will not work for long. Even Elliana knows that. Unless she sought help really soon, it was probably the last time I would see her alive.
Most of the packing had been done. We bought a suitcase to replace her plan to take a few shopping bags filled to the max, and then we had lunch with her mom and sister. It felt more like a final meal than a family gathering. After lunch, we headed to my home to pack the last of the things that were there. We had already packed several boxes and her suitcase. We had about an hour's worth of packing to do, but about five hours to do it in. I wanted to use as much time as I could to let her change her mind.
I did not understand why she did not understand that our relationship was ending if she did not seek treatment, and why, if she understood that, did she not care.
However, Bryan was right: it is only my problem if I make it my problem. She would do nothing to resolve her problem which is only my problem if I make it my problem. I could do nothing about her decision to pack her bags and go to her grandmother's house except to tell her that it is never too late to ask for help. However, there is no asking for anything other than help getting into treatment. She knows that she cannot come back here.
Why the hell didn't she care?
We went home to pack and say goodbye. The day I hoped would never arrive was coming to an end. The best word to describe how I felt is numb. Just as were closing the suitcases, she said that she thinks should have packed them differently so that everything she would need for inpatient treatment was in one suitcase!
We talked and there is hope!
