Sunday, December 8, 2019

Cousin Lee Died Today

Mom called this morning to tell me that my cousin Lee lost his battle with cancer today. He was 61, and about six months younger than me. That made him and his twin Lyle the cousins who were the closest in age to me.

Lee's father, Garth, was the brother of my father, Wayne. They lived on five acres not too far from Rogers High School. It was always cool going out to Uncle Garth and Aunt Dellora's home. There were farm animals, abandoned cars, and even a part-time swamp way in the back. We were allowed to roam. I have no idea what our parents thought we were doing, but they would not have approved of much of what we actually did!

Lee was not particularly devious, but he was also no saint. His ideas were generally more complex than devious. If I recall correctly, his ideas were like getting a line of people holding hands with someone grabbing the electric fence, or getting someone to touch the electric fence with a blade of grass. Now, he wasn't above joining us in a robust game of throwing apples as hard as we could at the chicken coop or plums at the barn, but those would not likely have been his ideas.

Three things I remember about Lee are that he liked to perform magic tricks, he loved Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's music, and he told jokes precisely. He hated screwing up a punch line, and he was not above correcting someone on how a joke should go. 

He was neither a klutz nor an athlete. That said, his rant about "nobody getting hurt" after a play in a football game led him to run into a parked bike was one of the most vivid memories I have of Lee. His rant was really creative, and we are lucky that he did not get hurt worse than he did. I felt bad afterward that we laughed when it happened. Any of us would also have been angry if it had happened to us.

The most common occasions we would see each other as adults were funerals for family members and going on motorcycle rides. He had a sweet-running old Honda 750 four. That was many years ago. He always wore a full-face helmet, and he always told me that he wished I would wear one, too. 

He has been ill for about eight or ten years. He couldn't have ridden if he wanted to the last several times I've seen him. His balance was out of kilter and he had little stamina. We talked about the old days on those occasions, and we would laugh. He would get frustrated, perhaps even a bit angry, when he talked about how his health was affecting his life. 


These pictures are from a family gathering shortly after his father's death, circa 2003. The people in the pictures with him are his wife, Gail, and his twin brother, Lyle. These were much healthier days for him. These were the days of that old Honda 750 four!

Lee's death was not shocking, but it is sad. Two of our cousins in this generation have lost wives, but Lee is the first blood cousin in this generation to die since my brother David died in 1965. Obviously, that is a blessing in one way, but it also makes me want to stop and think about things a bit.

All those farm animals are long gone, as are the abandoned cars, the chicken coop and barn, and even that part-time swamp at the back. The five acres have been subdivided, and several new homes went up on the grounds we used to roam. 

Though gone, those things on that five acres remain fond memories, as will my cousin Lee.

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From the Beginning by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer